


foot, meet mouth

by daenw (freckledfoxes)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x12 Coda, Anal Fingering, Aromantic Dean Winchester, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean, Coda, Dom/sub Undertones, Episode Tag, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Top Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 17:58:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10996041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckledfoxes/pseuds/daenw
Summary: Embarrasseddoesn’t even begin to describe how Cas feels.He’d spilled his guts while…spilling his guts. He’d bared his heart for the entire Winchester family, thinking it’d be the last thing he said or did. He had told them what he’d only ever been able to show them; what he’s always been too unsure of or too proud to say out loud.He feels sostupid.





	foot, meet mouth

**Author's Note:**

> None of this was beta’d and I got so embarrassed that I couldn’t read it over so... enjoy!

_Embarrassed_ doesn’t even begin to describe how Cas feels.

He’d spilled his guts while… _spilling his guts_. He’d bared his heart for the entire Winchester family, thinking it’d be the last thing he said or did. He had told them what he’d only ever been able to show them; what he’s always been too unsure of or too proud to say out loud.

He feels so _stupid_.

Dean wouldn’t let Cas go once they got home. He wouldn’t let Cas get back in his truck and head off in some unknown direction toward and unknowable destination. Cas didn’t have a reason to leave. He had no leads on Kelly Kline. But the thought of staying here, in this place that now felt so small and suffocating, with all he’d said still a fresh, open wound in everyone’s chests… He felt ill at the thought.

Regardless, he stayed.

The night had gone by slowly, and a long and suffering silence endured that threatened to swallow Cas whole. All the while the boys slept as if the world hadn’t been irreparably changed. Maybe their’s hadn’t been. Maybe what Cas had said meant so little to them that nothing _had_ changed.

Or perhaps… Nothing changed because it was what they’d known all along.

In any case, _he_ felt changed. It was unsettling, even more so than what he’d felt after falling for the first time. Even more unsettling than becoming fully human when he lost his grace. And even more so than having a writhing, stolen grace inside him, eating him alive.

So he sat there all night, in the darkness on a bed he’d never use, feeling that change fully.

It was overwhelming.

He’s surprised to hear a knock at his door, some time in the early hours of the morning. Sam rises early, but more or less ignores all interaction until he’s gone on his run. Dean rises early, as well, by most people’s standards, but he usually sleeps an hour or two longer than Sam.

The door opens even though Cas never answers, and it’s Dean who peeks inside.

“Hey,” Dean says, voice still slightly thick with sleep.

Cas sits up straighter, pushing himself up off of his pillows. “Dean.”

“I’m makin’ coffee. Want some?”

Cas frowns and stares at his friend. He wasn’t expecting that. Dean never asks if he wants… _anything_. Just gives. Or demands.

“I…”

“I know you don’t need it. But the ‘it’ll do nothing for me’ bullshit doesn’t work with me. Maybe it doesn’t do anything _physically_ , but…” Dean trails off with a shrug.

Cas sighs and gets to his feet. “It’s still a comfort.”

Dean smiles at that, obviously pleased, and nods. “Yeah. C’mon. Should be almost done.”

Cas follows Dean down the hall and to the kitchen where Dean starts pulling mugs down from the cupboard. He sets out cream from the fridge and gets a jar of honey from the pantry. Apprehension builds in Cas’ stomach as he sits and waits for Dean to finish.

Dean finally looks back at Cas. “You still like it with this stuff, right?” he asks, pointing at the cream and honey.

Cas nods, surprised again. “Yes.”

“Kay.” Dean waits a second for the coffee maker to release the last couple drops before pulling the pot from the warmer and pouring it into the mugs he’d set out. He mixes up Cas’ cup and sets it in front of him before sitting with his own mug. They drink in silence for a moment and Cas is, again, confused to find that his coffee is exactly as he likes it.

Cas starts to relax, finally having convinced himself Dean is going to ignore what had happened the previous night, when Dean clears his throat.

“So,” he starts slowly, and Cas feels like a rug has been yanked out from under him.

_Here it comes_ , he thinks, staring hard down into his cup of coffee to avoid looking Dean in the eyes.

“You love me, huh?” Dean doesn’t sound angry, but that doesn’t mean he’s not.

“I believe I said I love _all of you_ ,” Cas dodges, eyes drilling holes into the bottom of his mug.

“But you do love me. Specifically. You said that first. You couldn’t even look at me until you ‘clarified.’” The smile is evident in his voice. He even chuckles a little when he says it.

Cas finally understands what’s happening and he rolls his eyes. “If I’d known you were going to make fun of me for it, I never would have said anything at all.”

“I’m not making fun of you,” Dean says plainly.

“Of course you are. You sound like you’re holding back laughter.”

“Look at me.”

“I don’t need your _pity_ , Dean. I’d like to just forget what happened.”

“Cas, please look at me.”

And of course, he can never say no to Dean.

Cas looks up and…

Cas is getting very tired of being surprised.

Dean’s face is soft, not a single ounce of ill-intent in his features. He’s smiling, but there’s no teasing behind it. He’s relaxed enough that he’s leaning forward on his elbows, but there’s a slightly rigid set to his shoulders that Cas knows is from nerves. His expression is far less troubled than Cas has seen it in a very long time. Dean almost looks… _hopeful_.

“Did you think I was gonna be mad?” Dean asks with a small, amused huff.

Cas frowns. “Of course you should be angry. I told you I love you on my deathbed. I told you I love you when you don’t love me back.”

Dean’s smile disappears almost instantly and his eyes turn hard as stone so quickly that it’s like ice down Cas’ spine.

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t need to spare my feelings, Dean. I know you only see me as a friend. Or– Or a _brother_.” Cas doesn’t mean to spit the word like it’s something dirty, but it must come out harsh and biting because Dean actually winces. “That’s not even taking into account that you would never admit it if you loved me back anyway.”

“Cas–”

“And I am grateful that you see me as part of your family. I’m… _perfectly content_ with _that much_. But what I said last night, I would like to put it behind us. I don’t want it to make everything awkward. I didn’t think I was going to live. I didn’t realize I’d have to live with the repercussions.”

Dean goes very, very quiet for a very, very long time, sitting as still as a statue. A clock ticks loudly on the wall to Cas’ left. Cas just sits there, but his gaze falling down to the table. He’s a coward, he knows, but he can’t look at Dean. He can’t stomach it.

He scratches at a bit of peeling enamel on the tabletop.

Dean finally gets to his feet and picks up the mugs. He takes them to the sink, washes them, and places them in the drying rack, every movement tight and controlled. Cas’ teeth hurt with anticipation. He wonders if Dean will throw something; one of the mugs, perhaps. Or if he’ll simply storm out of the kitchen in a flurry of pent-up emotion. Or if he’ll just continue on like none of this ever happened and give Cas the silent treatment once again.

In any case, it would be a familiar dance. Cas could live with that if it meant he didn’t have to face potentially ruining their already fragile friendship.

“You’re wrong.”

It’s said so quietly that Cas thinks he must have misheard. The water is still running and the clock is very, very loud.

“Did you hear me?”

Cas looks up at Dean, frowning. Dean shuts off the water and turns around, facing Cas as he leans back against the counter, crossing his arms.

“Everything you just said… is wrong.”

So Cas _had_ heard him correctly.

“I see you as family Cas. And I might have said ‘brother’ before but… You know me. I ain’t good with words or… or feelings. I didn’t know where we stood… And yeah, okay, I’m kinda pissed you told me you loved me thinkin’ you were about to bite it. Didn’t take you for a love ‘em and leave ‘em kinda guy. But–”

Dean takes a deep, trembling breath, his hands falling to his sides, fingers flexing with nowhere to channel his nerves.

“I don’t know if you noticed, Cas, but I’ve been pretty open lately. And I knew you cared a lot, but I didn’t know it was like that, okay? I didn’t really want it to be. With everything else, you don’t deserve that.”

Cas squints at him, a bit of his own frustration bubbling to the surface. “Don’t deserve what, exactly?”

“You don’t deserve to have to be in love with me.”

“It’s– Dean,” Cas can’t believe what he just heard, “it’s not something I have to do. I just am. And I… I wouldn’t change it.”

“But why? I’m just a guy, Cas. A shitty… just a shitty guy.”

“I can assure you, Dean, that you are not _just_ a guy.”

Dean sighs and shakes his head, looking down at the floor. “Either way, just… I feel the same. You know I feel the same. Right?”

Cas takes a deep breath, filling his lungs and trying to wrap his brain around what Dean just confessed.

“I don’t exactly hide it,” Dean adds lamely.

“I didn’t know. You… you do hide it, actually. Apparently quite well.”

Dean frowned deeply. “You can’t tell?”

“I just…” Cas squints up at him, trying to read him. “No… it… I can tell you care, of course,” he finally manages, a growl of frustration escaping on the last word. He clears his throat. “It’s just… Of course, it’s different than the way you care about Sam, or the way you cared about Bobby or Charlie or Kevin… And different than how you care about your mother, but it…” Cas trails off, unable to completely explain what it is he sees when he looks at Dean.

Dean swallows. “Look, I… I’m not sure _romance_ is what you should be looking for in me, man. I’m not good at it. Never have been. Hell, the only person I’ve said I love you to has been my mom. And that was more than thirty years ago.” Dean rubs the back of his neck. “There’s probably a word for it. They’re always figuring out new labels for stuff like this, you know. Just another thing about me that makes people run screaming. But I… Obviously I care about you a little different than I care about mom or Sammy, even if I’ll never be able to use the L-word.”

Cas watches him curiously, finally understanding what it is Dean feels.

“You gonna say somethin’ or just stare at me? I’m feelin’ a little raw already as it is.”

Cas blinks. “Of course. My apologies. I’m just… not sure what to say.”

Dean makes a face. “Does what I’m sayin’ make any sense, at least?”

“I think so…”

“I’m not gonna forget what you said, man. I don’t want to. You can’t take it back any more than I can take back tellin’ you I need you in that damn crypt, okay? But I’m glad you finally said something. I wish I’d said something sooner, instead of keepin’ my mouth shut like a coward.”

“If anyone’s a coward, it’s me. I’m the one that thought I could tell you how I feel without having to deal with the aftermath.”

Dean snorts. “Yeah, thanks for that, you ol’ heartbreaker.”

Cas watches as Dean seems to deliberate for a moment in his own mind. Apparently conceding with himself, Dean makes his way back across the kitchen. Instead of sitting back down in his own chair, he puts himself right in front of Cas, hands still flexing nervously at his sides.

“Dean?” Cas looks up at his friend questioningly, a lump forming in his throat.

Dean takes a deep, steadying breath. “Sam’s already on his run. Apparently neither of us could sleep. Which is understandable, considering.”

Cas frowns in confusion.

“He’ll probably be… another hour.”

Silence.

Dean raises his eyebrows. “I’ve got a few more ‘teachable moments’ up my sleeve. All of them not involving a waitress named Mandy and a lot more practical application.”

Realization dawns on Cas and heat lights up his cheeks. “Oh.”

“Unless you don’t want to. Which is fine, too.” Dean looks even more nervous now, like he’s about to run.

But Cas reaches up and takes his hand tightly. “Show me.”

~

Dean bites his lower lip and nods, pulling Cas up to his feet. He doesn’t step back right away and they’re practically chest to chest for a moment. Dean’s eyes fall to Cas’ lips briefly before he moves and pulls Cas down the hall toward his bedroom.

He lets Cas in first and closes the door quietly behind them. Cas looks around slowly before turning to look at Dean, who’s got his back against the door, just staring at Cas like he’s not sure what to do.

“Dean?”

“Just… give me a sec,” Dean replies, sounding out of breath.

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re nervous, Dean. You’ve done this a hundred times.”

Dean scowls at him. “This is different.”

“How? It’s intercourse. Is it because my body is male?”

“No, dude. That’s— And don’t call it intercourse, jesus… Just… It’s not cause you’re a guy, man. It just ‘cause it’s you. I don’t… wanna mess anything up.”

Cas’ gaze softens at his words and he holds out a hand. “You know what to do, Dean. Get over here… Please?”

Dean huffs and pushes off the door slowly, making his way over to Cas. He worries at his lower lip, eyes roaming over Cas until they meet his own. Dean reaches out and pushes at Cas’ trench coat and Cas helps him slide it from his shoulders.

“You don’t have to wear this all the time, you know,” Dean says quietly, taking the coat and draping it over the back of the armchair next to the bed.

Cas shrugs. “I don’t notice it.”

Dean’s back in his space again, hands twitching a little where they hover over Cas’ own hands. Cas spares him the trouble and meets him halfway, lacing their fingers together and swaying forward a bit.

“Do you need me to initiate the kiss, Dean?”

Dean groans. “Oh my god, shut up.”

“Then don’t make me wait anymore.”

Dean must be tired of Cas’ teasing because he finally surges forward and presses his lips to Cas’. Cas’ eyes flutter closed and he tightens his hold in Dean’s hands.

It’s so soft at first, not much more than lips pressing and noses nudging. But it doesn’t stay that way long. It turns heated, frenzied even, as Dean finally parts Cas’ lips with his tongue.

Dean’s hands pull from Cas’ grasp but they fall to Cas’ waist, gripping tightly as he uses his hips to push Cas toward the bed. Cas can feel the hard line of Dean’s arousal echoing his own and he groans into their heated kisses. He brings his hands up into Dean’s hair, fingers carding through the strands, tightening, pulling.

Dean whines in the back of his throat and bites at Cas’ lower lip, tugging as he pulls back to look at Cas, eyes hooded, chest heaving.

“Fuck, Cas.”

“I thought that was the idea?”

Dean lets out a huff of laughter and leans in to kiss him again, but it’s brief. He pulls back and reaches down, hands coming to Cas’s belt. He unhooks it, polls the strap loose to get at the button and zipper of Cas’ slacks.

“I’ve… I’ve only done this twice,” Dean confesses as he drops slowly to his knees.

Cas blinks, mouth falling open.

Dean takes a deep breath and looks up at him from where he’s kneeling, hand sliding up around the outline of Cas’ cock, but never touching.

“Maybe you should sit on the bed,” Dean suggests.

Cas just nods quickly, dropping back onto the bed. Dean moves close again, elbows coming up to bracket Cas’ knees. He starts undoing Cas’ shirt with deft fingers, laser focused on the task at hand. Dean licks his lips and looks back down at Cas’ lap when he’s finished with the shirt, his hands falling to Cas’ thighs.

“Can’t believe we haven’t done this yet,” he murmurs, lips hovering over the hard tent in Cas’ pants.

Cas rests a hand on the back of Dean’s head. “You’ve thought about us?”

Dean nods, looking up at him. “I try not to. Always worried you’d be listening.”

Cas shakes his head. “I didn’t know.”

Dean leans down and presses his lips to Cas’ clothed cock. It sends a shudder down Cas’ spine.

“Wish I’d paid more attention when you showed up with those bees.”

Cas flushes crimson and rolls his eyes. “Let’s not talk about that.”

Dean smiles against him and turns his gaze upward, rubbing his cheek against him. “Can’t believe you let bees anywhere near your dick, man.”

Cas shakes his head but he can’t help but smile. “Clock’s ticking Dean. Sam will be here soon.”

Dean grins and runs his nose around the outline of Cas’ arousal. “You’re very impatient.”

“I’m sure you would be, too, if this were reversed.”

Dean groans. “There’s a thought.”

Cas tugs at Dean’s hair. “Dean.”

Dean whines and looks up at Cas, pupils blown wide. “Keep doin’ that and you won’t have to touch my dick at all.”

Cas licks his lips, heat swirling in his gut. “You’d orgasm just from this?” Cas asks, giving a hard, experimental tug to Dean’s hair.

Dean moans and pulls at Cas’ slacks. “Not as young as I use to be, but for you… maybe.”

Something rears up inside Cas at that and he groans. “Let’s try it.”

Dean mouths eagerly at Cas’ cock, eyes fluttering closed. Cas mind is whirling dizzingly as he watches Dean pull Cas’ pants down over his hips and to his ankles. Dean tugs at Cas’ boxers, letting them slide away slowly, revealing Cas’ long, thick length as it springs back up against Cas’ belly. It’s achingly hard, bright red shaft and purple head, and Dean whines at the sight of him, mouth falling open.

“Do you like it, Dean? Is it everything you imagined?” Cas growls, twisting his hand in Dean’s hair to force him to look away from his cock and up into Cas’ eyes.

Dean nods quickly, biting his lower lip. “Better.”

Cas groans and lets go of his hair, running his hand over the back of Dean’s head to soothe his scalp. Dean drops his head immediately, lips coming to the base of Cas’ shaft. Dean sucks lightly up the thick vein on the underside of Cas’ cock, tongue laving over the hot, swollen head before wrapping his lips around him and sinking down in one smooth go.

Cas gasps when he feels himself hit the back of Dean’s throat and he’s worried, momentarily, that Dean will choke. But Dean coughs once, then relaxes, breathing slowly through his nose to keep his gag reflex in check.

Cas’ eyes glaze over and he presses his hand to the back of Dean’s head, applying enough pressure to hold Dean in place. The wet heat of Dean’s mouth already has Cas so close to the edge that he’s afraid this might be over a lot quicker than either of them anticipated.

“I don’t believe you’ve only done this twice,” Cas grunts. Dean makes a sound that Cas doesn’t really know how to decipher, but it doesn’t matter, because the vibrations have his eyes rolling into the back of his head and that thought goes out the window.

Dean finally pushes up on Cas’ hand and Cas lets him pull off with a wet, sloppy sound. Dean pulls in a deep breath through his mouth. He’s flushed and his lips are bright red and swollen from being stretched around Cas. Dean licks his lips and they glisten enough to hypnotize Cas. Cas sways forward, yanking Dean up to kiss him hard.

They pull apart after a moment and Dean is smiling stupidly. “I guess I meant I’ve only done this with two people. How many times I did it with them… I lost count.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “You should continue.”

“My pleasure.” With that, Dean gets back to work.

Dean sinks back down onto Cas, but this time he doesn’t stop. He bobs his head in Cas’ lap, taking Cas deep and hollowing his cheeks, pulling up until he’s only got the head of Cas’ cock in his mouth. He mouths at the head, nudges the slit with his tongue, even works his mouths down to Cas balls and makes sure they don’t feel left out. Cas has never felt anything like it in his entire existence.

Dean makes quick work of Cas, never letting up until the very end, when Cas grabs a fistfull of Dean’s hair tight enough to bring tears to Dean’s eyes and thrusts into Dean’s mouth relentlessly, hips stuttering until he’s spilling down Dean’s throat. He sinks back onto the bed, falling back while Dean licks and sucks every last bit of come from Cas’ cock. Dean climbs up over Cas, and Cas is aware that sometime between his orgasm and now, Dean had removed the rest of his own clothes. He’s kissing up Cas’ stomach and chest slowly. Cas looks at him and sees a bit of come still on Dean’s chin and that angry, possessive monster he sometimes feels writhing inside him gives a pleased moan.

Dean is still hard, though, and it looks painful. His cock is bright red and leaking, leaving a puddle on Cas’ belly.

“You didn’t finish,” Cas says, frowning. He reaches down to grip Dean’s cock.

Dean shudders. “Was worth a try,” he says, voice hoarse. He smiles and closes his eyes when Cas begins stroking him in earnest. “Maybe next time.”

Cas groans. “That was absolutely incredible, Dean. You were so beautiful. I can’t wait to have your mouth around me again.”

Dean whines and buries his face Cas neck, thrusting his hips into Cas’ tight grip. “C’mon, Cas… maybe… “ Dean grabs Cas’ other hand and brings it to his mouth, wrapping his lips around Cas’ first two fingers, sucking and licking them until they’re coated with saliva. He brings Cas’ hand behind him, making Cas’ fingers graze over the tight ring of muscle between Dean’s cheeks. Dean lets out a small gasp and closes his eyes. “There…”

Cas’s gets the picture. He bites his lip and starts teasing Dean’s hole, circling his fingers around slowly before pushing the tip of one inside up to the first knuckle. Dean makes beautiful, breath sounds in Cas’ ear, encouragement spilling from his lips as he works back and forth between pushing himself onto Cas’ fingers and into Cas’ tight fist.

“God, Cas, yeah… You can go deeper… that’s it…”

Cas sinks his finger in further, wiggling and stretching dean open enough to slide in the second. Cas is crooking his fingers when Dean tenses, teeth sinking into the muscle of Cas’ shoulder.

“Shit… fuck, do that again. Yeah… oh, fuck yeah. Right there…”

Cas works his fingers relentlessly over the bundle of nerves inside Dean and he strokes his fist over Dean’s cock faster. Dean is starting to babble incoherently, his thighs and arms shaking with the effort to hold himself up.

“That’s it, Dean… That’s it… You’re doing so well. Come for me… I wanna see you come, Dean…”

Dean gasps, seizing up as his cock jerks in Cas’ fist. He comes hard and it splashes up over Cas’s stomach, chest, and even a bit onto Cas’ chin. Cas strokes Dean through the aftershocks, his fingers still pressed against that sweet spot inside him until Dean finally slumps forward onto Cas, uncaring of the mess between their bodies, at least for the time being.

They lay like that for some time. It could have been minutes or hours. Cas didn’t care. They finally roll over onto their sides and Cas pulls one of Dean’s legs up, hitching it over his thigh. He leans in and kisses gently all over Dean’s face before pressing their lips together.

“We were stupid to wait so long to do that,” Dean mumbles, smiling dazedly as he tips his chin up to let Cas press kisses to his throat.

Cas gives a grunt in agreement and tries to pull Dean closer, despite them already touching from chest to knee.

“You should stay in my room from now one. When you stay here.”

Cas smiles and reaches up, sliding his hand through Dean’s hair. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” Dean sighs and leans into Cas’ touch. “We should shower.”

“You’re probably right. The mess is beginning to feel uncomfortable.”

Dean snorts. “Yeah. we’ll have to plan better next time. Grab a washcloth or something before we get down to business.”

Dean sits up and Cas reluctantly lets him. Dean runs his hand down Cas’ shoulder and upper arm, smiling down at him. “If you think you could get it up again, there’s a teachable moment in the shower for you, too.”

Cas rolls his eyes and stretches out, but he smiles up at Dean. His cock gives an interested twitch.

“That might be doable.”

Dean grins and slaps the meaty bit of Cas’ upper thigh. “Then let’s get a move on, handsome.”

Dean gets to his feet and pulls on his sweats. He goes to the door and looks back at Cas with a wink before heading off to the showers. Cas, as always, follows.


End file.
